I am someone who does not like to make decisions.
There’s just way too much pressure to make the right one. With that in mind, I put myself in the position to make a ton of important decisions. In the end I always end up alive and well (so far)… but whenever in the moment, I freak myself out thinking if I make the wrong choice- the world will end. Literally.
So here I am, in the aftermath of deciding to go back to Nueva Jersey to study at the prestigious Rutgers University. Whoopee! Not only did I decide to get my butt back into school, but I learned a great lesson too:
We spend our time here in America worrying and fretting over minute details in life. For me it was the pathways to pick. In actuality we are so entirely privileged to even get to make these decisions. Last summer I actually lost sleep over deciding to go on a free trip to Israel or not. I LOST SLEEP OVER IT. Do you know how dumb that is? Israel was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would never give up and at the time… I was freaking out about it.
Then, I get presented the opportunity to move out to Denver, Colorado to gain life experience, and for godsakes see the famed ROCKY MOUNTAINS. And what do I do? I freak out of course. I thought, “Life is so cruel for presenting me with these difficult choices of going away to a top school in the United States- or live in one of the biggest up and coming cities, *sigh*” With every decision I had to make I harassed my friends, seeking their opinions on the matter. Opinions, that when it came down to it, I was never going to take; but, to delay actually doing something in my life, I would sit there and listen to their logic anyway.
Eventually I made the decision for one reason or another to buy a one way ticket to Denver and never look back. And heck, I never did. My experiences were great in Denver. I mean, I learned how to cook (still working on that), I learned how to pay bills, I learned how to be my own advocate, and I learned how with hard work a person can change the future of an entire city. All of this life experience is sincerely priceless. I am so grateful for circumstance that brought me here and led me to this beautiful American place.
Fast forward to the present and I my realization. Each decision I made was an opportunity presented. It doesn’t even matter which path I choose, it’s fantastic that I get to choose. There are so many people in this tiny world that can’t even fathom making such great decisions, choosing such great choices. There are people in this world who don’t get the rights to their own life, and I complain about it; as if it was a burden.
From now on I will tackle decisions as a gift because that’s what they are. I will celebrate the day I get to decide on spaghetti or sushi and I will make sure to appreciate my circumstances because up until now I have been blind to how privileged I am.
That is all.